Ok, so i'm still stressing over the relationship issues that have developed. So, what better way to blow off some steam than to hit the club and mingle for a bit(I have to admit, i want my relationship to work. But I do like to flirt...don't worry he knows) So, dispite the fact that J-ville boast to be the largest city in the country(land-wise anyway) the selection of night spots that cater to the GBLT lifestyle are a bit on the slim side. However, theres only one spot in town that would be worth hittin up on a Saturday night. (No, i'm not naming it...you already know)Ok, so i hit the door a lil after 12. Grab my usual spot at the front bar where the head bartender is a good friend(Hell, he's everyone's good friend), and I post up. It must have been something in the air...spring fever. Call it what you what. But I saw some faces I havn't seen in a good minute or two. Old friends were just poppin up out the woodworks and such. I saw an ole flame that just always managed to make me feel good no matter what mood i was in. Some of my friends who have been dating forever(damn, there bout to move away), and some new faces of peeps that i've chatted with online over the years.
I have to admit, for the first time in a long time if felt good to be in the spot and enjoying the atmosphere with friends. Definately the distraction I needed at the moment from my own relationship/monkey wrench situation.
But as I sat there and soaked up the vibe I couldn't help but ponder on some things. What was so special about this particular night that everyone was seeming to get along? Don't get me wrong, I'm not implying that we don't know how to behave. But I have to tell you that I have been present on some nights where it was just simply "Awf Tha Chain" up in there. I don't know if it was the full moon, or the hot summers(you know us folks don't do heat well) but I can recall some nights where fights would break out at the drop of a hat in that spot.
However, just like the seasons change, so do people. With the dawn of a new spring, people mature, habits and behaviors change(not always for the best though), and some the the "kids" that I can remember sneakin in the club at 17 and sneakin drinks at 20, I have to say I was proud to see conducting themselves with a lil grown and sexy swag now at 21-25.
Yet, dispite in the mist of a club riding a good vibe for the night, i couldn't help but notice how drama will definately try to find a way to creep it's ugly M#thaF#ckin head in.
Aight, so i've had a good time, i run into one of my friends(not a close friend...you know i don't do close friends), but a good dude who i've always admired. This boi never has a frown on his face. This is the only dude that I know that could turn down and advancement from you(believe me i've tried), do it with a smile and make you feel good that he did it. So, i have to admit it caught be by surprise to look accross the bar as the club was lettin out to see him with a frown. Something obviously had went down that didn't sit to well with him. As I'm walkin to my car, he's in front of me, upset about something. It's normally not my place to worry bout other peoples shit. But me and dude share the same sign, so i can kinda relate to how he feels(specially when you get pissed bout something). So, i made it a point to check on him and at least speak.
I guess the point of my story is this: We all talk often about the stereotypes of this lifestyle. How just simply by design certain things will transpire. It just is what it is, right? I mean, here's a guy whom I have alot of respect for. Well respected in the GBLT community, always seems to be on point(except the nigga always seem to be out of cigarettes and bumbin mine. Fuck it, the dude has always been 100 with me) And yet, dispite the fact that he seems to have most things in tack, he too is dealin with drama.
So, if this brother can be affected by drama and issues, who the hell am I to complain about how my sh*t isn't goin well, right?
And i guess thats the premise of this entry. Many of us talk about how we desire to kick it, chill, hang out with someone, have a relationship that is drama free. We proclaim from our profiles that we don't do "drama". But what is drama? Ok, many of us are desirous of being in a relationship, finding that person that we can spend our time with, and develop something meaningful in the long run. But we fail to realize that in order to get to that level there has to be some sort of emotional attachments. And when shit doesn't work out as planned, then things get a lil messy...i.e. drama.
And guess what peeps, no matter how much, you say your not about it, or you try to avoid it, when there are feelings involved it's going to go down.
Now, the key is this: HOW ARE YOU GONNA HANDLE IT WHEN IT DOES?
Think About It.....
I'm going to call the bf now.
Catch Yall Later.
E-Black
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